Charleston, S.C. A Wrinkle in Time...Part 4 Final...

"You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding."
-Guy Finley.

I had spent a lot of time working out during my vacation, part to stay sane and part out of habit. It always sucks to get to the gym and it always feels so great when you are done. This huge spiritual release. I feel centered after a great run or workout. I feel all pumped up and then at complete peace.

I had done my fair share, but as the trip was winding down I realized I hadn't run on the beach yet. And, of course, it was raining and I just had to run on the beach. So I set my sights at a dark blue/grey house all the way down towards the end of of the row of houses. It was the last house my eyes were able to see. I figured that by the time I got there I would be so tired I would barely be able to make it back. I remembered running on sand the last time I was there. It wasn't the easiest thing to do. I mustered up strength and ran toward the house.

I looked at the ocean and I watched it chase me towards the street. Somehow I started approaching the house and I had this surge of energy, it was beyond any other runner's high I had felt so far. I kept running feeling the sand kick up behind me. And I was being carried, it felt effortless...and I moved stride by stride towards the house and the back towards home again. Arms pulling through the rain, I felt nothing, nothing but pure happiness as it carried me almost causing me to laugh out loud all the way back to the house. I knew I was doing great, I knew I was fast, and I came upon the beach house and slowed down. When I slowed down, I saw a pile of black rocks just like the ones I had been collecting the whole trip.

It became obvious to me what needed to happen, and I started to cry. I started to cry because I knew that I had changed. That I would not be the same after this trip. There were things I needed to let go of, things that had been bothering me, and I knew it was time. I had to let my brother go. I knelt down, I picked up a rock, I said a silent prayer and I threw the rock into the ocean as hard as I could.

I thought about Luke, and all that had happened. I realized that I couldn't hurt anymore because I felt like I would never be understood. I had to let it go, and trust myself to let this be it. I picked up another rock, I said goodbye to him, I said goodbye to hurting over being misunderstood. I threw the rock...and that was it.

There were two more rocks, two more rocks I had to throw, two things that I have held onto, that I have hurt over that I needed to let go of. And two more times, I threw the rocks into the ocean watched them thud and sink while the rain came down.

It was my reason for going. It was my time to let things go. It was my way of allowing a build up of hurt to leave me.

That and I got to see my grandmother. Who after 94 years, reminds me that this week of reflection was just a wrinkle in time. And to be grateful that there is a wide ocean because there are going to be many more rocks to throw.



Peace and love.
Barbara

Charleston, S.C. A Wrinkle in Time...Part 3

"Knowledge is learning something every day.
Wisdom is letting go of something every day."
~Zen Proverb~
And so the time for fun...I spent some time down at the market, I am just going to post a few of my favorite downtown pictures. I will also post a link to see all of my pictures from the trip at the end of the blog.
This is the front entrance to the market.



At the end of the day, I was really glad to have gone downtown, its always a mix of history and memories and excitement from tourists. I will post the rest of my pictures at the end of the next part.

Please see Part 4.

Charleston, S.C. A Wrinkle in Time...Part 2

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
-- Lao Tzu
And so the journey continued past the first evening of Grand Ole Opre entertainment. We woke up, attended a birthday party and then I headed over to the beach house on Folly. What you are looking at is the walkway from the house to the ocean. It's the most unbelievable house you could imagine. Perfect in every way. I love that place, and I know that all of the Fralix's do too...it's the respite for many. And it comes from the goodness of my Aunt and Uncle because they are very generous in sharing it.

As soon as I got to the beach house I felt that something was missing, I couldn't figure out what it was, but there was a sense that I was missing something...something that should be obvious...like the name of your favorite actor, I just felt like I had a complete lapse.



I spent a lot of time on the beach the first two days. I am really glad because as the week went on the weather did not cooperate with my desire for a tan.

The next part of the trip, was business. It was the business of resolution and finality. The business was to go with my mom to purchase the headstone (or grave marker) for my brother. I realize it has been years since my brother had died, but one thing has led to another and the final task never got completed. And now it was time.

We got in the car and headed off to the cemetery, and as we did this I realized what I was missing, what I was feeling was that this trip was going to have a greater purpose for me, that I would be spending a lot of time saying goodbye. And as soon as I realized this, it made so much sense to me, that this wasn't going to be a time of complete leisure or fun, or anything of the sort. This was my time to finish what I needed to finish within my own heart.

I rode with my mom and the whole way there I could feel my brother in the back seat. I didn't want to say anything to my mom, because I figured she either felt like he was there too, or I was going to make her cry. I had this huge sense that my brother wanted this to be over for my mom. That he didn't want her to have to "deal with" his death anymore and that she needed to get this over with.

We got there, dropped some roses off on his grave and my aunts and grandfather's grave and proceeded to the office. I took some pictures because it was a beautiful sight.

There was an interesting energy in the air. I hate to sound corny, but there was, there was this slight breeze and a calmness and peace.


We wandered around this bench and sat still for a minute waiting for the woman in the office to finish with her current customers. I looked at this statue and it reminded me of a bank that my grandmother had given me when I was a little girl. I believe it was a Holly Hobby bank. Anyway, if the bank could be turned to stone and take her hat off, this is what she would look like. I appreciated her sympathy.

After we talked to the woman in the office we walked outside to see all of these butterflies everywhere. I don't know why, maybe it's the kind of trees that they have there, I don't know, but they were beautiful.

And they gathered together....

They let me get fairly close without moving. It made sense that they were there, whether it was on purpose or not. The idea that we are all stuck in cocoons until our last day when we finally get to meet who we have been praying to this whole time. Spreading our wings to fly... again it just made sense.

Anyway...we finished...the head stone is ordered and its the last decision; the last thing to do in order to put Teddy to rest.

We rode home, a little curious if the woman would be able to handle the order, but satisfied, and at peace ourselves.

Dad was waiting at home, we were going to go downtown to the market.

Please see Part 3.

Charleston, S.C. A Wrinkle in Time...

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.
-- Author Unknown
The story of my trip or vacation, or whatever you would like to call it, begins with high expectations of fun and sun and laughing and joy. I had hoped for an escape from the reality, from my "day to day". What you hope for, what you want; is hardly what you get.

I have been visiting Charleston S.C. since I was a baby...it's been a second home for many reasons, it's where my mom's side of our family lives, it's been our family vacation each year, and it's where my brother was born and is now buried.

I knew I needed to visit Charleston this year, I get a nostalgic ache in my stomach to lounge on the beach and see my family. I had that ache mid July and made plans with my parents to join them at my Aunt's house on the beachfront in Folly Beach, S.C.

I bought my ticket and my friend John was kind enough to drive me to the airport and watch my car while I was gone. I left early, I had to be there around 4:30am in order to get all set for my flight.

I met a really nice couple on the plane, the mom (I can't remember their names) sat next to me and told me all about their daughter, she has a full ride to the Citadel playing volleyball and they were going for the weekend to watch her play.

I arrived in Charleston and my parents scooped me up just in time to take me to my grandma's house to prepare for her performance. I thought my Mama's (what we call her) group of ladies were performing, but I was wrong, it was a performance by members of the Elk's lodge.

This is the Elk on the ceiling atop of the stage. There are pictures of men all over the walls (many of my family members) and it's sort of exactly what you think any of those lodges are like. And my family have been members for a very, very long time.

The performance was called the Grand Ole Opre and my dad and I had to chuckle at some of the music because it was kind of like a country version of American Idol. Some of our favorite lyrics were: "I love this bar, it ain't that far, come as you are, I love this bar!" and the classic, "Let's walk through the garden cuz I'd sure like to check you for ticks."

I took several pictures of the event, there were some wild costumes. I have to say, although I know I am biased, that my family did the best!

My aunt Annette, Mom, and Aunt Marlene

My Mama, she is 94 this December!

Here are some others:

Me, my mom and my Aunt Dot (Dorothy, Mama's sister, she is 90ish too)

And Pops, my goofy dad, no less talking about the tick song...he loved it so.

My Mama can still rock the stage at 94 years old! Watch out Madonna and Reba!

Unlce Melvin as Willie Nelson...loved the braids.


Uncle James making the ladies swoon...

My cousin Jimmy representing the family well.

This lady was hilarious...and I was told she was a wallflower...


Aunt Marlene and Uncle Melvin...I know they have beer...but those ladies have nothing on my Aunt Marlene!

Before I knew it, the show was over...and the food was pretty great too. I had BBQ beef with hash and rice I gave my dad my baked beans...no one should want me to have those! And the cherry cobbler was great too.

Please see Part 2.